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Journal: My First Adventure in Dragonsmouth!

I get the impression that I'm gonna enjoy Dragonsmouth. Here's why: within the first hour of entering the city, some guy named Snake (no, not that Snake, another Snake) paid us 10,000 gold for two orc corpses that we were carrying.


Why were we carrying orc corpses? Okay, that's a fair question. On our way to Dragonsmouth, we encountered two walking-and-talking orcs (okay, only one of them was talking, just let me finish the story), and we felt that their continued consciousness was an insult to our intelligence.


I mean, that orc said he was my "friend." That was obviously a lie, I don't have any friends, I feel I've been very clear on this point. I don't think this orc has many friends either. You don't usually dig pit traps for your friends. We met another guy out there on the road also, but I doubt he was a friend of those orcs, since he wanted to steal the corpses from us.


Where was I? Oh yeah, so after we sold the orc corpses, another guy pays us 500 gold for a box that he opens, a statue that he shatters, and a scroll that he incinerates. Hey, as long as you pay me in advance, I don't care what you do with your personal belongings.


We had some more fun after this. By "fun," of course I mean Breaking & Entering fun, which is my kind of FUN. We cased the house of some rich family; I grabbed some gold bars, my buddy Guns found a squeaky toy that emotionally distressed him, and my buddy Dante got a good look at a chamber pot (but decided to leave it behind).


Let's do this again sometime, guys. Maybe next time we'll even bring along that orc-stealing Ajax guy.