Journal: The Sewers of Dragonsmouth

You have to rethink your life choices when you find yourself crawling through the sewers looking for a lost ring that someone flushed down the toilet. This is not where I thought my life was taking me.

The first thing you need to know, when crawling through the sewers, is to avoid the Jelly Box. "What's a Jelly Box?" you might ask? Well, it's a huge box of jelly that wants to digest you in its gooey (yet highly acidic) goo. Unfortunately, the lost ring was glinting enticingly from inside the goo. Being the prudent one, I tried fishing out the ring using a length of rope. My buddy Dante was less prudent, and got himself swallowed whole by the Jelly Box. Don't worry, he escaped by consuming one of those "Grow Up" potions and popping explosively out of the cube (and out of his clothes, for some reason) like a newborn hippopotamus emerging from his mother.

Some people consider childbirth miraculous. I thought it was kinda gross, and the persistent nakedness disturbed me greatly.

Also, apparently the sewers are ruled by a "Rat King." We saw his warning sign when we first entered the sewers, but I paid it little heed. I'm not very afraid of rats. Or kings, for that matter. But these are no ordinary rats - they were people who turned into rat-men who turned into giant rats (known to some as Rodents Of Unusual Size, or ROUS). These rat-men were not only impervious to our weapons, but also entirely unafraid of the Jelly Box. I think they were on performance-enhancing, mind-altering drugs. That's the only explanation.

Anyway, we somehow killed the psycho rat-men. I reasonably asked Dante to dress in their clothing, but as I mentioned earlier, his commitment to nakedness was absolute.

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